Ron Miller

It’s great having a name like Miller as it rhymes with a lot of words, even some that don’t exist. This was for a surprise 70th birthday for an old friend Ron Miller, former Head of Sales for London Weekend Television.

'The Seven Ages of Miller'

In the seven ages of Miller
He’s gone from babe to a white-haired Gorilla
So let us find time
To run down the line
Of these Seven Ages of Miller

In the first age of Miller
A World War was too much of a thriller
Life was no helter-skelter
Down in Ron’s air raid shelter
‘til they said “Hitler’s taken the final painkiller”

In the second age of Miller
He was educated but just a scintilla
And sport wasn’t much fun
They asked him to run
But he didn’t. In fact he became stiller

But by the third age of Miller
He’d sampled the wares of a distiller
He’d met Mo in the park
Took her out for a lark
And found that he knew how to thrill ‘er

In the fourth age of Miller
Mo said “our finances could not be more nil-er”
But he found warehousing a bore
Then closed down some Chambers at law
To business he’d become a spine-chiller

But by the fifth age of Miller
His hand was firm on the tiller
Fuelled by gin and fine wine
He sold hours of TV time
And lived in Essex, in a large villa

In the sixth age of Miller
The doctor said you are looking ill-er
You’ve got nothing to lose
If you cut down on the booze
And move on to the old Sarsaparilla

In the seventh age of Miller
He crossed the Channel in a flotilla
He stuck his oar in the rollocks
To the shore shouted “Bollocks”
And cried “I shall no more be a tax-coffer-filler”

As we enter the eighth age of Miller
He resembles a cuddly chinchilla
But Ron and his wife
Have enriched our life
Their friendship has been a huge pillar

So before my rhyming becomes even more sillier
And I’m forced to bring in Black or Cilla
Let’s get up off our arse
Fill up our glass
And drink a toast to our mate Ron ,,,,,,, (I just can’t think of anything to rhyme there…….)

Copyright Bob “the Cat” Bevan MBE 2006


Grumpy old goalies


Bob 'The Cat' Bevan